FREE LOVE?

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)

                 Back in the 1960’s, the concept of free love was widely proclaimed. The constraints of traditional morality were cast aside and unrestricted sexual expression was celebrated. For many young adults, this seemed like a very liberating course of action. But is free love really free or even love?

                Genuine love is never free. Genuine love always comes at a cost. In order to genuinely love another person, you have to give up some of your independence. You have to begin thinking more about what pleases the other person than about what pleases you. As Paul says in Philippians 2:3-4, Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Genuine love is always a sacrificial act. It is giving yourself to another person.

                Jesus set the standard for what genuine love is. He commanded us to love one another as He has loved us. How did Jesus show His love for us? He laid down His life. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. (John 15:12-13) Genuine love always comes at a cost.

                What people really mean when they talk about “free love” is free sex. They want to have sex without the responsibilities of a genuine loving relationship. But free sex is not free either. God designed sex to be experienced in an intimate relationship with one person within the bounds of marriage. When it is experienced in this context, it fosters true intimacy and connects two people together in a spiritual union that goes beyond the physical act. As the Bible states in Genesis 2:24, For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

                Casual sex comes at a high price that most people realize too late. It short circuits true intimacy. It scars a person’s heart and makes them more callus to others. Other people become objects to be used rather than persons to share life with. Sex becomes an addiction to the momentary thrill that quickly fades. Each episode requires something more to acquire the same thrill. Soon sex becomes stale and rote and devoid of any meaning. Casual sex damages future relationships, making it harder to enter into a true covenant marriage. Casual sex is not free, it comes at a cost.

                The only truly free love is the love of God. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. (1 John 4:10) God’s love is free to all who will receive it. There is nothing we can do to earn God’s love. There is nothing we can do to deserve God’s love. God’s love is unconditional and free. For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16)

                Although God’s love is totally free, it will cost us everything to embrace God’s love. To experience God’s love requires a total abandonment to Him. We must give Him all of us and in return He will give us all of Himself. Jesus said, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?” (Luke 9:23-25)

                The concept of “free love” has become a political slogan. It is the carrot at the end of the stick to blindly lead people into more self-centered living. Certain politicians have loudly asserted that no one has the right to tell others who they can and cannot love. I would agree with that statement to a degree. In fact, Jesus challenges us to love all people. But what these politicians really mean is that there are not moral boundaries to who a person can have sex with. That is a different matter altogether. The kind of free love that they are promoting is undercutting the very fabric of our society. That kind of free love is not free. It comes with a hefty price tag.

                Genuine love is costly, but it is worth more than we will ever fully know. It was genuine love that sent Jesus to the cross. It is that kind of sacrificial love that will ultimately fulfill all of our desires.

Romans 5:6-8

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.