Thursday, March 13, 2014

AVOIDING CONFLICT

                Our small group has been studying the book of Jeremiah. It has been challenging on many levels. It is uncomfortable wading through all of the declarations of doom and gloom. In Jeremiah 12, the prophet complains to God about the difficult path that he had been called to follow. In verse 5, God responds with these words."If you have raced with men on foot and they have worn you out, how can you compete with horses? If you stumble in safe country, how will you manage in the thickets by the Jordan?” Jeremiah is only at the starting line of his ministry. God is challenging him to man-up. In essence, God is saying, if you think this is bad, what are you going to do when things get really rough?

                There are some people who enjoy conflict for conflict’s sake. Most of us don’t. We would prefer the safe, comfortable path. The reality is that life doesn’t work out that way. As much as we try to avoid conflict it will always find us. So if we become defeated when the conflicts are small, what will we do when things really heat up?

                Nowhere in the Bible does it instruct us to go looking for trouble. In fact, Paul (who always seemed to be in trouble) tells us to reduce conflict and seek peace. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:17-18 Conflict for the sake of conflict is counter-productive.

                Jesus warns us that even if we do everything right, we are going to face conflict. "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33 The real question for us is how are we going to handle conflict when it comes. The answer, in part, comes in Hebrews 12.

                Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Hebrews 12:7-11

                God uses the conflicts of our lives to refine us. Some of the hardships that we face are of our own making. We make poor choices and face the consequences. God uses these to awaken us to our vulnerability. Some of the hardships that we face are caused by other people. God uses these to strengthen our ability to forgive and treat others with compassion. Many of the hardships that we face are caused by the fact that we live in a fallen, sinful world. God uses these to refine and strengthen our faith in Him.

                God has given us three important resources to turn to in times of conflict in our lives. The first is the Holy Spirit. As followers of Christ, the Spirit lives within us. He gives us strength that goes beyond our human abilities. When we are at the end of our rope, He is there to hold onto us. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. Romans 8:26-27

                God has given us His word, which has the power to heal our soul. The word of God isn’t an answer book for every question of life. It is a source of strength and comfort. It calls us back to Christ; the one who is sufficient for all of our needs. It reminds us that our little piece of the story is not the whole story. It assures us that God has not and will not abandon us. All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3:16-17

                God has given us one another. Sometimes we all need a Jesus with skin on. Christ has provided His body, the Church, as a place of refuge and strength. When we are feeling weak, we can go to a trusted brother or sister in Christ and find strength. Our faith becomes real when we share actively and intimately in one another’s lives. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2

                By nature, I am a conflict avoider. Over the years, I have learned that just avoiding conflict is not realistic or even healthy. Instead, I have learned that I have to face conflict head on. It makes me uncomfortable. I feel the urge to run away. But, I must stand my ground and trust God to guide me through the storm. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Ephesians 6:13


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