A Need for Closure

            I lost another friend this week. He was a unique fellow; not the type that you would expect to meet in church. He came to use about twelve years ago. When he walked into the sanctuary, everyone noticed. He was short, balding and had tattoos and piercings everywhere. He was wearing a T-shirt and shorts. Over the course of several months I befriended this unlikely churchman and about a year later he yielded his life to Jesus Christ and was baptized.

            There was no outward demonstration of a change in his life, at least not in the way he dressed. But there was real evidence that God was at work in his life. He became very active; attending church most every Sunday and doing whatever jobs he could. He painted walls, cleaned floors and helped out in the kitchen (much to the horror of some of our ladies).

            A couple of years ago he disappeared from our fellowship. Due to some mental issues, it was not unusual for him to “go underground” for a while. This time he seemed to disappear completely. Then I received a phone call informing me that he was in a nursing home, dying of cancer, and wanted to see me. Over the past couple of weeks, I went to see him as often as I could. I prayed with him and read scripture to him. Sometimes I just sat and watched him sleep. On Sunday evening he died.

            His wishes were that there would be no funeral. He wanted to be cremated, buried and forgotten. But he will not be forgotten. I grieve for him. The lack of a funeral hinders my ability to bring some closure to his life. I don’t want to just forget him. Today, for the very first time, I had some contact with his family. I hope this contact will help me and them bring some closure to his life.

            The Gospel of John records a time when Jesus went to a funeral. It was for a close friend named Lazarus. Lazarus’ two sisters, Mary and Martha, were experiencing deep grief. Jesus came to give them comfort and hope. In a way, he came to bring closure to that chapter of Lazarus’ life.

            John records Jesus’ emotions when he went to the grave site with Mary. When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died." When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. "Where have you laid him?" he asked. "Come and see, Lord," they replied. Jesus wept. Then the Jews said, "See how he loved him!" John 11:32-36 (NIV)

            Jesus freely entered into the grief of Mary and Martha. He didn’t hold back, even though he knew that he would raise Lazarus from the dead. It was still important to go through the process of bringing closure to a life.

            Earlier Jesus had given Martha a clue as to what was to come. "Lord," Martha said to Jesus, "if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask." Jesus said to her, "Your brother will rise again." Martha answered, "I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day." Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?" John 11:21-26 (NIV)

            In the end Jesus called Lazarus from the tomb and reunited him with his family.

            This past Friday my friend was reunited with his family for the first time in 18 years. They were able to talk with him. On the day that he died, they were there. He did not die alone.

            Jesus’ words still hold true for my friend. Even though he didn’t match up to the expectations of everyone else, he had placed his faith in Jesus. And so Jesus’ words apply to him. "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?" I have to say “YES!” I believe this. Knowing that my friend is at home with Jesus is the best closure that anyone can have.

            We did not have a funeral, nor will I probably ever see his grave. But my friend is not alone. He is safe in the arms of Jesus.

John 14:1-6 (NIV)
"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.  You know the way to the place where I am going." Thomas said to him, "Lord, we don't know where you are going, so how can we know the way?" Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.