Wednesday, June 12, 2024

NEWS FLASH! WE NEED ONE ANOTHER!

 

1 Corinthians 12:27 (NIV)
Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.

               We live in a highly individualistic society. We value being able to make our own way in the world without being dependent upon others. Pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps is firmly embedded into our cultural consciousness. There are many benefits of the independence that we enjoy and hold onto. But there are some significant downsides as well.

               America is facing a new epidemic, and it is not a new strain of Covid. We are facing an epidemic of loneliness. The U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy is hoping to raise our awareness of the threat before us. “Most of us probably think of loneliness as just a bad feeling,” he told USA TODAY. “It turns out that loneliness has far greater implications for our health when we struggle with a sense of social disconnection, being lonely or isolated.”

               In a recent national survey of American adults, 36% of respondents reported serious loneliness—feeling lonely “frequently” or “almost all the time or all the time” in the four weeks prior to the survey. This included 61% of young people aged 18-25 and 51% of mothers with young children. 43% of young adults reported increases in loneliness since the outbreak of the pandemic. About half of lonely young adults in the survey reported that no one in the past few weeks had “taken more than just a few minutes” to ask how they are doing in a way that made them feel like the person “genuinely cared.”

               This feeling of being disconnected can affect anyone. Loneliness is not limited to rural, isolated communities. People can live in the midst of a bustling urban center and feel totally alone. Some of the times that I have felt the loneliest, I have been surrounded by people. It is possible to be in a crowd and feel invisible.

               We were not created to live solo lives surrounded by other solo lives. Instead, we were created to interact with one another in significant ways. We were created by God to live in community with one another. Our individualism needs to be tempered by the reality that we cannot live this life all alone. It just doesn’t work.

               When we live isolated, individual lives we rob ourselves of the care and nurture that we all need to thrive. The idea that we don’t need the help of others, that we can make it on our own, is a myth. In order for us to be healthy, both physically and emotionally, we need other people in our lives who really care about us. People who enjoy loving relationships with others live longer, healthier lives.  People without these relationships tend to withdraw into themselves and often die sooner.

               People who live isolated, individual lives rob themselves of their full potential. C.S. Lewis, in his book The Four Loves talks about the value of genuine friendship. He makes the point that genuine friends draw out different qualities from one another. Each friend brings something new to the table that highlights some new facet of the other. The broader the circle of genuine friends, the more a person blossoms. Lewis not talking about mere acquaintances. A person can have many acquaintances and still be lonely. He is talking about the kinds of friends that can get behind the public mask we all wear and see the real person behind.

               There are several things that can keep us in our isolation, if we don’t come to grips with them. Many people live lonely, isolated lives because they are afraid of being vulnerable. Our culture is not kind to those who are too open about their weaknesses and faults. A fear of being “found out” keeps people in the prison of loneliness. The Bible tells us that the solution to this is to risk being honest with a few close friends. As trust grows between friends, they are more willing to risk being vulnerable. When a person finally opens up, they suddenly discover that they are not alone in their weakness. Others share the same experiences. Therefore, James challenges us to develop the kind of relationships that will allow us to be vulnerable.

James 5:13-16 (NIV)
Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

               Another reason people remain in isolation is the fear of intimacy, or more specifically, the fear of being hurt. We all begin life with a certain amount of social capital. We innocently enter into relationships with others expecting a positive result. Sometimes it works out that way and sometimes it does not. When a person gets hurt in a relationship, it makes it harder for them to enter into another one.

               Part of growing up and maturing as a person is learning to weather the hurts of life so that we can experience the joys of life. To do this we need to take the risk to get close to others. If we keep everyone at arm’s length, we may not get hurt, but we will also not thrive. Along the way, we will all get hurt by others and we will all hurt others. We don’t necessarily do this intentionally, but nevertheless we do it. Learning to live in genuine community with others gives us a foundation to stand on when we feel hurt. It also gives us a healthy way to deal with our hurts.

               Part of the reason for Paul writing letters to the churches that he founded was to teach them how to live together in community. They lived in a brutal world where every person was for themselves. They had to learn to live differently, and so do we. So Paul gave some very practical instructions on how to move out of isolation into community.

Colossians 3:12-14 (NIV)
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

               Let me summarize Paul’s formula for breaking free of loneliness and isolation. First, we need to understand who we are in Christ. We are dearly loved, in fact, loved beyond measure. No matter what happens to us in life, nothing can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus. We can risk loving others because we are secure in Christ’s love.

               Second, we need to cultivate the character qualities that will set us apart from the norm. In a world that is often cold and uncaring, we need to cultivate godly compassion for those around us. In a world that takes advantage of others, we need extend genuine kindness. In a world that idolizes big egos, we need to strive to be humble, having a realistic understanding of who we are. In a world that is harsh, we need to learn to be gentle. In a world that hardly stops long enough to catch its breath, we need to cultivate a spirit of patience, waiting on God’s timing.

               Third, we need to extend the grace of God to one another. Forgiveness and letting go of our hurts are the keys to breaking the chains of loneliness and isolation. We have been forgiven by Christ. We can extend that same forgiveness to others.

               Finally, we need to learn to love as Jesus loves. Love to today has lost its deep and significant meaning. Love today is temporary and fickle. Much of what is heralded as love in superficial and based on physical attraction. Genuine love is so much more that those things. The love that Christ has demonstrated for us is a sacrificial love that is willing to give all for the other. Christ calls us to do the same. This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. 1 John 3:16 (NIV)

               We don’t have to live in isolation and loneliness. We have a choice. But it will mean taking some risks, being vulnerable and humble. The road out of loneliness will not be smooth. There will be bumps along the way, disappointments and setbacks. But if we stay on the path, we will discover the more abundant life that Jesus has promised to us.

Hebrews 10:25 (NIV)
Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

 

 

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