HEALING OUR WOUNDS

 Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

Colossians 3:12-14 (NIV)

                I was an accident-prone kid when I was growing up. If someone was going to get hurt, it was most likely me. I have the scars to prove it. I have often toyed with writing a book titled “My Life as a Crash-test Dummy.” All of those wounds have long ago healed. But I am also a sensitive person and that has caused me to suffer other wounds that no one can see from the outside. Some of those wounds that were inflicted a long time ago are still tender. Those internal wounds are not obvious, and so much harder to heal than physical wounds that are obvious.

                We all carry around with us our own set of wounds. Some of those are inflicted by others and some are self-inflicted. The scars from those wounds are always with us. If we are fortunate, many of those wounds have healed, but not all of them. There are some wounds that have cut so deep that even years later they still hurt. How can we bring healing to those places?

                The beginning of healing is bringing our hurt to God and accepting His grace and forgiveness. As Peter writes in 1 Peter 5:7, Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. We do not have to carry these burdens alone. By bringing them to Jesus, we allow Him to carry them with us. In fact, Jesus has invited us to share our burdens with Him. "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)

                To fully accept the relief that Jesus offers us, we have to release our hurt to Him and accept the forgiveness He offers. This means that we have to forgive ourselves, before we can forgive others and begin to heal. Although others may have caused the initial wound, we are responsible for what we have done with that wound. Our natural tendency is to pick at the wound and keep it open. We allow it to fester and grow. As we bring our wounds to Jesus, we need to confess that we have allowed them to continue. We need to ask for His forgiveness and for the power to forgive ourselves. I know that not everyone is self-incriminating, but many of us are. We beat ourselves up for things we regret and refuse to truly let go of them. If we are ever going to heal, we need to bury our self-incrimination.

                Once we have brought our hurts to Jesus, and released them to Him, then we need to forgive those who have hurt us. The person who suffers the most from a lack of forgiveness is you. Someone has said that holding on to resentment and anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Forgiving others drains away the poison that damages our soul. If we want to heal our wounds, we need to forgive as Jesus forgave us; unconditionally. This means that there can be no stipulations to our forgiveness. We cannot make our forgiveness contingent upon the other person repenting, or changing, or making up for what they have done. Jesus forgave us with no strings attached. We must forgive others in the same way.

                Forgiving others is not excusing what they have done or letting them off the hook. Forgiveness doesn’t take away the consequences of the other person’s actions. Forgiving others frees us from the burden of carrying those actions ourselves. We no longer have to carry around our resentment, bitterness, and anger. We can move on with life in a more mature and wholesome way. An important part of this process is replacing those negative feelings with positive ones. As Paul wrote in Colossians 3, we are to clothe ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

                Jesus was under no obligation to forgive us, yet He did willingly. Because we have been forgiven by Jesus, we can forgive others. If we will willingly forgive others, we can heal the hurts that plague us. The scars will remain as reminders of what has happened, but they will no longer cause us pain.

 "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.  Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."
Luke 6:37-38 (NIV)