Ephesians 4:2
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with
one another in love.
As a
part of my devotions, I have been reading Off-Road Disciplines by Earl
Creps. The goal of the book is to help Church leaders to understand the shift
from a modern to a post-modern society. It is a shift that most of us Baby
Boomers are finding particularly difficult to maneuver.
Today I
read a chapter on Reverse Mentoring. To be honest it was both enlightening and
humbling at the same time. In a nutshell, the idea is that we who are older
have to learn to listen to and learn from those who are younger. In our
fast-paced world of constant change, the younger generation has a better handle
on what is going on than those of us who have been around the block a few
times. Unconsciously we have all experienced this when we have asked our
children or grandchildren to help us set up our cell phone or access the
internet.
The old
model has been for centuries that the elders of the community passed down their
wisdom and information to the younger members. The younger members were
expected to accept this without question, even as they were expected to build
upon it. In our post-modern world, the game has changed. As Creps points out,
once you pass the ripe old age of 40, you are no longer in touch with the new
realities of our world.
Those
of us who have crested the hill usually take one of several approaches to this
new world in which we live. Some of us ignore it as a fad that will soon pass
away. We figure that once this younger generation “grows up” they will come to
realize that our way is the best way. Some of us give a superficial nod toward
the new realities. We buy cell-phones. We learn to text, use the internet, and
log in to Facebook or Myspace. But we are doing this as tourists, not natives.
We are not totally comfortable in these new realities. We want to look like we
know what we are doing, but we really don’t. The other way that some of us
respond is to acknowledge the new reality and to try to honestly learn to live
within it. This includes admitting that we are out of sync much of the time.
This is where reverse mentoring comes in. We need to be humble enough to ask
for help and then listen to what the younger generation has to say, without
passing judgment upon it.
Underlying
this new reality is another reality that has been true since the dawn of time.
That reality is generational arrogance. Each generation thinks that they have
life figured out and that the others have missed the boat. We see the
generations that have come before us as old fashioned and uninformed. We see
the generations coming after us as naïve and immature. We feel that it is our
right to set everyone straight. This is where humility comes in. Without
genuine humility across the board, there can be no effective communication or
cooperation. Instead, we are stuck in a competition to prove that our view is
right; the only right one.
I have
had the privilege of getting a taste of reverse mentoring; of learning from those
coming after me. During our tenure in Mankato, we had the awesome privilege of
working with many young adults. Over the years, God has allowed me to develop
friendships with a number of young men. Although I have often seen these relationships
as a Paul-Timothy relationship, I always gained from them far more than I was
able to give. It is the aspect of ministry that I miss the most right now. I
didn’t know that I was experiencing reverse mentoring, but I was, and it was
great.
The
important point to be made is not that us Baby Boomers need to step aside and
let the next generations take the lead. The important point is that we all need
to learn to listen to one another. Each of us has something of value to bring
to the table. Relationships were never meant to be one sided; with the older
person in control and the younger person submitting to them. Instead,
independent of chronological age, we need to learn to humbly listen to and
accept what each other has to offer. Youth brings with it enthusiasm, energy,
an innate understanding of current culture and trends, and innovation. They are
comfortable with living at warp speed and dealing with dissonance. The older
generation, on the other hand, brings stability, tested experience, wisdom and
often structure. They are more comfortable living at the speed limit. They are
less comfortable with dissonance. If we can combine the good qualities of each
generation, downplaying the less than good qualities, we can actually advance
together.
I
remember being a part of a team building exercise once that required that all
of the team members completed the required tasks before the team was done. What
happened at first was that some team members ran ahead, while others lagged
behind. At some point it dawned on the team that the only way to “win” was for
us to actually work together. We needed to pool are strengths in order to
compensate for our weaknesses. Instead of being frustrated with one another, we
needed to encourage one another.
The
divide in our culture is getting wider. The modern world view is like an anchor
trying to hold the world back from its headlong rush into the future. The
post-modern world view is like a strong gravitational force that is pulling
everything forward at increasing speeds. It is time that we join hands and
learn to make this journey together.
There
are many things about our new post-modern world that I don’t understand. There
are some things that I feel very strongly about. There are many things that I
think are just plain wrong. But my post-modern counterparts see the world very
differently. Although I may not agree with everything they have to say, I need
to actually listen and learn.
There
is one thing that has not changed, no matter what happens in our culture. That is
the truth of the Gospel. The fact that God loves us so much that He sent Jesus
into the world to die on a cross, to be raised to new life, and to offer us
forgiveness for sin and life eternal. Our God is not a God of the past, but a
God of the present. He is not surprised or shocked by the trends in our world. He
is the Great I AM who is always relevant and present. Our core message is solid
and it will never change. Our methods of communicating that core message are fluid
and must change.
If we
expect to be effective in sharing the good news of Jesus with our world, we
cannot expect them to come back to the methods that were effective in the past.
Instead, we need to listen to what they have to say and construct methods that
resonate with them.
Philippians 2:4
Each of you should look not only to your own interests,
but also to the interests of others.
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