A FLAWED FOLLOWER

                I am a flawed follower of Jesus Christ. I want to make that very clear. In 2 Corinthians 4:7, Paul talks about the glory of God being placed within us. We are clay pots, which hold God’s glory in trust. “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.” My clay pot has numerous cracks in it, but it is through the cracks that the glory of God shines.

                There is something within each one of us that wants to be seen as competent, successful, put together. We struggle to prove ourselves to others, to God, and to ourselves. We all want to be winners. We all want to be the best. We all want to stand on the top step of the podium and receive the gold medal. So we work very hard to portray an image of outward perfection. But, in our quiet moments, we know that it is not true. We are not perfect, so we beat ourselves up, and determine to try harder.

                I have always struggled with a mixture of feelings about who I am and how others perceive me. I have often struggled to “prove myself” to God, only to fail miserably. I have struggled with the need to please others, and so I try very hard to conform to what they expect of me. Yet, I constantly fail to live up to everything others want from me. Above all, I have failed to live out my faith fully, in every area of my life. I am a flawed follower of Christ.  

                The good news is that God knows that I am a flawed follower, and He still loves me. The Psalmist put it best. As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust. Psalm 103:13-14

                I have gone through several times of discouragement lately, where I have felt inadequate, unproductive, and incompetent. I know that Satan wants to magnify these feelings to keep me from being faithful to what God has called me to. His greatest weapon against me is my flawed nature. He keeps telling me that I am not good enough, and that I never will be. During these times I desperately need to listen the voice of God.

                God reminds me that my hope is in the right place. My hope is not in my ability to save myself, but in what Christ has already done for me. When Satan cuts me down, I need to cling to the reality that his opinion of me isn’t what counts. I come back to the truth that I have already been redeemed and I am secure in Christ. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 2 Corinthians 5:17 I am a new creation in Christ.

                God reminds me that my heart is in the right place. My greatest desire is to please Christ. I want to follow Him, even though I stumble and fall regularly. Every time I read Paul’s words in Philippines 3, a surge of energy courses through me. Even though I don’t always live it out, this is genuinely my heart’s desire. But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ--the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.

    Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philip. 3:7-14

                God reminds me that my “success” does not depend on me, but on Christ. Jesus reminds me that He is the vine and I am a branch. Any fruit that appears on my branch is really produced by Christ. So my competence is not a measure of my skill or efforts, but a expression of God’s grace. Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant--not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life. 2 Corinthians 3:4-6

                God reminds me that, when I fall, He is there to pick me up. I wish that I lived a sinless, perfect life, but that is just not true. I stumble and fall on a regular basis. If it were not for the amazing grace of God, I would be a bloody mess. But God continually restores me. If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:8-9

                God reminds me that I am secure in His everlasting, unending love. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:35-39

                God reminds me that I am a flawed follower of Christ, but I am His!