I am
pretty sure that I would never make it as a newspaper columnist who has to
produce a new article every day. There are many days when I just don’t feel
very creative. My mind seems to be dull, sluggish, and unproductive. This is
one of those days. On days like this, I begin to question myself. I start to
wonder if I have come to the end of my creative abilities.
When
I have days, like today, it is important for me to stop and examine what is
going on in my life that may have brought me here. I recently returned from a
week of vacation, so my trouble can’t be that I need time away. But, I did
spend most of my day off yesterday working outside in hot, muggy weather. I
woke up this morning feeling a little out of sorts. I’m sure that being tired
from yesterday’s activities has something to do with it. Also, we just came off
of a big weekend, with the carnival. There is always a certain amount of
emotional let-down after something like that. Besides all of that, Tuesday is
my Monday, and everyone knows how hard Mondays can be.
The
real danger on days like today is that Satan loves to use them to sow the seeds
of doubt, discontent, and discouragement. Dull days make me wonder if I have
come to the end of my ministry journey. They make we question whether I really
have anything important or significant to say. I can hear Satan whispering in
my ear, “You’re just going through the motions. Maybe it is time to pack it in.”
I’m
sure there were days when the Apostle Paul felt as I do at times. His ministry
was far more strenuous and demanding than mine is. He didn’t have to cope with
just dull days. He had to cope with being run out of town, being stoned and
beaten, and being thrown in prison. There had to be a few days when He was
asking himself if this was all worth it. But we know that he always came back
to the same answer, Yes.
Paul
recognized that the ability to accomplish his task was not totally dependent
upon him. Whether he felt on top of his game, or clueless, he knew that God
would empower him to do what needed to be down. He made his position clear in 2
Corinthians 3:5-6. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves,
but our competence comes from God. He has made us competent as ministers of a
new covenant--not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but
the Spirit gives life. On
my dull days, I need to be reminded that my competence comes from the Lord and
not from me.
The
other thing Paul always kept in mind was that his work was not through. No
matter how he felt, God had called him to play a very important role. God had a
plan for Paul’s life, and Paul was determined to live it out. For
to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the
body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not
know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which
is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. Convinced
of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for
your progress and joy in the faith, so that through my being with you again
your joy in Christ Jesus will overflow on account of me. Philip.
1:21-26
On
my dull days, I remember that God has brought me to this place, and He is not
done with me yet. Although I don’t see all that God is doing, or how God wants
to use me, He has not released me from my call to faithfully serve Him where He
has placed me. So on dull days and brilliant days, I press on toward the goal
to win the prize to which I have been called in Christ Jesus.