THE NEED TO BE RIGHT

                I have a major flaw in my character that I share with many other people. That flaw is an inordinate need to be right. This flaw manifests itself in a number of ways. It comes out in the need to correct others. I was in an airport once and I overheard two people talking. One of the people gave the other some inaccurate information about where to find something in the airport. I had an overwhelming urge to butt in and correct him. It also come out when I find myself in a conversation and start to defend my position, whatever it is or how important or unimportant it may be. Once when I was young I was in a conversation with my father and some other adults. The topic of conversation had something to do with Moses and the golden calf. Wanting to impress these adults, I inserted the information that Moses had the golden calf ground into power, mixed with water, and made the people drink it. The adults all laughed and shrugged off my comment. For the longest time, I had the desire to prove to those adults that I was right.

                In the Bible, the people who suffered the most from this malady were the Pharisees. They were the spiritual elite of their day. They were not “professional clergy”, but lay people who avidly studied the scriptures, in the most minute detail. They would spend hours arguing over fine points in the Law. Things such as, how much weight can a person carry on the Sabbath without doing work. The most important thing for the Pharisees was that they were right. They had the corner on the truth, and they were not shy to let others know it.

                When the Pharisees encountered Jesus, the inevitable sparks began to fly. Jesus often challenged their understanding of the scriptures. This made them very defensive and so they argued more aggressively. We can see this conflict clearly in the Sermon on the Mount, as recorded in Matthew 5-7. In Chapter 5, six times Jesus says, you have heard it said, but I say. Six times, Jesus openly challenged the teaching of the Scribes and Pharisees. Needless to say, this did not win Jesus many friends among the brotherhood of Pharisees.

                The reaction of the Pharisees highlights two corollaries to my flaw of always needing to be right. Maybe they are actually the underlying cause of my need to be right. They are the need to prove myself and the need to have other people’s approval. Much of my life I have tried to prove myself to God and to others. I kept all the rules, so that those I respected would approve of me. I was compliant, in order to win the acceptance and approval of others. My obedience was often not fueled by any noble quality in my character, but by my need to be accepted and affirmed.  In a way, I was trying to prove to God that I was worthy of His love and acceptance.

                I would love to be able to say that all that is behind me, but that is not true. I still struggle with these things, but I have also matured spiritually. I have gained a different perspective that has allowed me, for the most part, to let go of these deep seated needs. Here are a few things I have learned.

                I have learned that I can never be good enough to earn God’s favor, but that Jesus has taken care of that for me. I cannot become righteous by my own effort. My righteousness comes from Christ. Paul makes this clear in Romans 3:21-24. But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. Knowing this can free me from the insatiable need to prove myself.

                I have learned that, in Christ, I have been completely accepted by God. I am loved with an everlasting, overwhelming love that is not dependent upon my performance. There are many passages that emphasize this truth. Here are just a couple examples.

                But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. [10] Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. 1 Peter 2:9-10

                How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. Everyone who has this hope in him purifies himself, just as he is pure. 1 John 3:1-3

                 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:16-19

                I have learned that I don’t have to prove myself to God. My relationship with God is not based on my efforts, but on God’s grace and mercy, which He has freely given to me. I can trust in His promises and be secure in my eternal hope.

                For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-- not by works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8-9

                I still struggle with the desire to be right, to be in control, and to seek approval. But these things has loosened their grip on me. These days I am less dogmatic and more compassionate. I am more willing to admit that I don’t know or that I am wrong. And less and less do I feel the need to prove myself. Each day I am becoming more secure in my walk with Christ and my dependence upon the work of the Holy Spirit in my life.  Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:12-14