Thursday, January 10, 2013

CONFESSIONS OF AN INADEQUATE COMMUNICATOR


                I would like to be more like the Apostle Paul. Paul begins his letter to the Philippians with these words. I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:3-6 (NIV) I really love those words. They are encouraging and inspiring. I wish that I could genuinely speak those words to my congregation, but I cannot. It is not that I don’t appreciate them or value their partnership in the gospel. It is that I don’t always communicate my feelings well. Let me try to explain.

                Paul was a great encourager. Even when he was about to blast someone for a serious spiritual failure, he would begin with some word of encouragement. Paul could be very blunt at times, but he understood the power and value of speaking an encouraging word. He was a master at it, and it was a pattern of his life.

                I am a poor encourager. When I see an issue that needs to be dealt with, I tend to plunge right in. Even when I see things that I should praise, I tend to remain silent. It is not intentional neglect; I just don’t think about it regularly. It doesn’t routinely pop up on my radar screen. Paul was always looking for some way to encourage others.

                Paul was also a great communicator. He wrote letters often, far more than we have preserved in the New Testament. His letters were personal, powerful and packed a punch. He had the ability to communicate deep truth in ways people could understand. He also could correct others without destroying the relationship that he had established with them. He was a master communicator.

                You would think that being a pastor who preaches 45 Sundays a year would be a good communicator. Maybe not. I do a good job in a public setting, but when it comes to a more personal approach, I am found wanting. I have been known to offend people without ever realizing it. I have failed to encourage others, not because I haven’t thought about them or even prayed for them, but because I never told them! I can think something one minute and then move on and totally forget it.

                I will never be a great interpersonal communicator, but I am making definite strides to improve my track record. I am being much more intentional about writing personal thank-you notes to people. If someone asks me to pray for them, I 5make it a point to pray for them right then, if possible. I am also working hard at recognizing when people need or deserve a word of encouragement or praise and then acting on it.

                Being an encourager is an important part of being a follower of Christ. There are so many things that discourage us. Satan is constantly throwing obstacles in our way. I know that I am susceptible to his attempts to steal away my joy. I can have several positive things happen and then let one negative thing overshadow them all.

                At least 14 times in the New Testament we are challenged to encourage one another. Hebrews 10:25 probably sums it up best. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching. Hebrews 10:25 (NIV) One of Satan’s most effective tactics against us is to isolate us and get us believing that we are alone. We start to think that no one understands what we are going through. Satan whispers in our ears that no one really cares about us. We start to feel sorry for ourselves and soon we are in a deep, dark hole of our own making. That is why, over and over again, the Bible tells us to encourage one another.

                There are many ways that we can be better at encouraging one another. Send a hand written note to someone. Invite someone out for coffee and pay the bill. Give small, thoughtful gifts that show the other person that you were really thinking about them and what they like. Those generic, pre-wrapped gifts that you can buy at Christmas speak volumes; and the message is not positive. Pray with someone about their issues. Take the time to really listen to others. The key is to actually do it. It is not enough to have good intentions; we need to follow through with specific actions.

                I have a long way to go to become a Paul-like communicator. I am committed to heading in that direction. Will you join me?

                 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV)



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