Keeping Score

            In  Marcus Buckingham’s book, Go Put Your Strengths to Work, he talks about how our basic personality is hardwired into us and will not significantly change over time. Then, as an example, he tells about his five-year-old son. Listen to what he wrote.

            “My son Jackson is five years old, and already I know some things about him. For example, I know that Jack is passionately competitive. Not in the way that most kids are, with their vague preference for winning over losing, but in a deep-and-abiding-hatred-of-losing kind of way. If he’s watching his favorite football team on television and they start to lose, he can’t say in the room. He is compelled to run into the other room and bury his face in the sofa cushions. It’s a physical thing. His need to win is such an overwhelming force that, once it’s triggered, he doesn’t know quite what to do with himself.”

            Buckingham continues by saying that, whatever he is doing, Jack always wants to know the score. As I read about Jack, I began to see myself. In one of those “Ah-Ha” moments, I realized “that’s me.” I had to stop watching football for a while because, when the game got tense, I would get up and pace the room. If my team lost, I would be bummed out for the rest of the week.

            I realized that I share Jack’s passion for keeping score and his aversion to losing. I keep a running log. Each time I get out and run I record how far I ran and my time. If my time is better, or my distance more than the last time, I feel good. If not, I feel bad. I’m keeping score. Every Sunday before I leave church, I go into the church office and write down the attendance numbers. On Tuesday morning I record them on a spreadsheet and then compare them to a year ago. I’m keeping score. If I play a game with my family or friends I become very competitive. What’s the point of playing if you are not going to play to win?

            I have struggled with this for many years, especially when it comes to other churches. I have had to discipline myself not to ask another pastor what his attendance is or volunteer ours unless specifically asked. I have had to work very hard at not keeping score.

            Is it wrong to keep score? There are many examples in the Bible of keeping score. If you look into the Old Testament, you will discover that at the end of most of the major battles that Israel fought we are given the final score. It is the same in the New Testament. When Jesus fed the multitude in the wilderness, it is recorded that 5000 men were fed, not including women and children. In the book of Acts, after Peter proclaimed the Gospel to the people, it says in Acts 2:41, Those who accepted his message were baptized, and about three thousand were added to their number that day. So it sure looks like the Bible keeps score.

            On the other side of the equation, Jesus is very clear about not keeping score. In the Sermon on the Mount, as recorded in Matthew 5-7, he specifically tells us that when we give or pray or fast we are not to keep score. In fact in Matthew 6:3-4 Jesus seems to completely prohibit keeping score. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

            Here are some helpful insights into how to deal with keeping score.

            Recognize the truth that the results do matter. People who are totally oblivious to results often accomplish very little. Results are the markers to tell us if we are making progress or falling behind. They are important.

            Acknowledge that the score is not what is most important. The score is only a temporary benchmark along the way to our higher goal. We need to acknowledge and evaluate the score, and then move on. Like baseball players who have to player 162 games a year, we need to celebrate each win, learn from each loss and then move on to the next challenge.

            Learn to give the score to God as a sacrifice of praise. In ministry, the score is an indication of how yielded we are to God’s leading and empowering. In life the score is an indication of how well we are using the skills and talents God has given to us. In either case, the glory is not ours but God’s. We can and should celebrate the score and then release it to God, without looking back.

            If I understand Buckingham, I will never lose my passion for keeping score. But I am learning to deal it in new ways. The other day, as I was running, I was thinking about this keeping score business. So as I ran, I verbally gave praise to God for the ability to run and the feeling of running well. When I got home I still recorded my time and my miles, but I’m not going to tell you the score.